Judging (Oct 2, 2013)

We all judge. Every single person in this world judges. This is a simple fact. The difference is how we conduct post-judgement. Will you act differently towards the person? Will you end the friendship? Will you try to save him or her? Will you leave the person be and continue the relationship as it was? Will you speak your mind? Would your behaviour depend on the situation?

I think most people will choose the latter, since I guess it really does depend on the situation. But if the person in question does something that will not affect your life in the very least, you just don't agree with that. Let's say your best friend chooses to get a job in the porn industry. It won't affect you, how does the job of your friends affect you anyway? You were friends before, and if the person's personality remains true, why let their personal choices affect the relationship you have? If the person is your partner, then the situation would be a bit different, and yet if the choice this person makes, makes them happier, then who are you to act differently in a negative manner towards them solely based on the fact that you disagree with their choice? Yes you may tell him or her that you don't think it is a good idea, but then don't try to make the person live their life according to what you think is best. How would you react when a dear friend decides not to be your friend anymore because of a decision you've made to your own lifestyle? Let's say you've dyed your hair glow-in-the-dark-green because you think it looks cool. Your friend disagrees and wants you to colour your hair back to 'normal' or else she or he wouldn't consider themselve your friend. I would rethink the friendship if that happens, because if your looks or your job matters more to a 'friend' than your personality, your character, what makes you you, how much of a 'friend' is that person anyway? And what business is it of theirs to barge in and tell you how to live your life? 

Of course the situations I'm stating here are reasonably innocent, if a person purges themselves to become or remain skinny and it becomes life-threatening, then you should barge in. But the overall idea here is if the person is happy, and their decision is giving them joy and whatnot, then be happy for the person. Yes you may tactfully give your opinion, lets say if my friend decides to enter the world of prostitution, I would tell him or her that there are other better ways to make money where your health won't be affected and people won't look down on you. But whatever that friend of mine decides, I will remain friends and be there for that person. Why? Because in my opinion that is what friendship is about and being a good person is about. You help out the others around you, but if they are happy and satisfied in their world they've created, then just be there for them, just like you would want them to be there for you.

<3