Nail polish: Rimmel's Metal Rush (Sep 30, 2013)

Nail polish time!!

The Rimmel Metal Rush collection is quite a hit and I really understand why! The colour is very pretty and especially how the colour changes by the angle you look at is. I recently got number 60 Royal Blue and it was a sale where you could buy 2 for the price of 1, but separately this one costs E4.99

I've used a base coat underneath, because I got 1 from a good friend of mine and wanted to give it a shot since that one is supposed to strengthen the nails. I'm still trying it out and I will review it after I know for sure whether it works on my nails. Either way on top of the 1 layer of base coat I needed 2 layers of the polish and it dried very quickly. Here's a picture of what my nails looked like, I polished it in a hurry so it is messy on some points. Whoops! (I actually took the pic below at work right before I had to start)

It actually lasted 3 days without chipping, so I'm very happy about that! Maybe with my top coat it'll last longer. And perhaps the base coat was a big factor as well why it lasted this long for me. I know I'm not being more careful because especially my part time job is not very nail friendly.

All in all I'm very happy with this polish!! Maybe I'll get even another colour from this collection :D 

<3

Songs of the past year (Sep 29, 2013)

It's been a year since I moved back to Amsterdam and I was looking at what songs I've played most during my first year back. So why not make a top 10 songs? Here goes:

• 10:  Placebo - Every You Every Me
•   9:  Ron Pope - A Drop In The Ocean
•   8:  Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out
•   7:  Alice Cooper - Poison
•   6:  Placebo - The Bitter End
•   5:  Alter Bridge - All Hope Is Gone
•   4:  Florence + The Machine - Never Let Me Go
•   3:  Fair To Midland - Dance Of The Manatee
•   2:  Slash - Bad Rain
•   1:  Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans

I must say I am kind of surprised of the amount of sad songs in here, but I have to admit I usually use music to deal with emotions, and for me it works very well. I just need a couple of songs that fit my mood at that particular time and then I'm over it and able to move on. Great and cheap therapy I guess.

Maybe I should post more favorite songs or my go-to songs for a particular mood?

<3

Studying and in a party-act?! (Sep 28, 2013)

Yup, another entry in my (weird) dream-diary...

I went to some good friends of my parents' with my laptop and study-books to go writing at their place, because, well, I had to study. So I knocked on their door and as they opened they were (as always) very happy to see me, and when I told them I needed to write, if I could write at their place because I can concentrate better there, they happily showed me 3 rooms I could sit in that was better suited for studying, but of course I could sit anywhere. They offered cookies, chips, drinks etc. I sat down at one of the bigger tables in one of the rooms which was across the stairs. I don't know whether this was a room, but either was it was a nice place to write: cozy and clean and enough table space. I unpacked, took out my laptop and just when I wanted to start writing, I heard someone walking in the hallway and then saw the person, who happened to be my ex, stopping in his tracks looked at me shocked and then acted like nothing happened, like I wasn't there and continued walking down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen. This was going to be very awkward, but then again, he should be able to handle me there. We're all grown ups, even though he still lives at home. I sort of forgot that these were his parents (not true in real life). I continued writing with my laptop.

I was offered some chips and some drinks again, and then it was time for a party. At first it was supposed to be a party for me, but only 1 person I knew showed up, and he was my ex's best friend. So I guess he came to support his friend. Either way after a while it was the friend's (birthday) party and more of my friends showed up, which kinda pissed me off because why didn't they show up when it was my party but arrived much later when it wasn't my party anymore?! Anyway we had to perform a play for the 'friend' and some girl I don't know kept shutting down all my ideas, and no one really know what to do. We had a long table that represented the time we were allowed to take for the act. So I thought why not make a couple of vines, then add them together in a movie editing program? It would be fun and vines are only 6 seconds so we'd have a lot of time left for other people's ideas! But no, the girl wasn't having it and after a while I gave up and went upstairs to continue studying, while overlooking the room with all the party people. The 'friend' had to give a speech after the first small act, but this speech was so boring I zoned out. Then after another set of acts he made his way to the table again to give a speech. I thought 'are you kidding me?! Another one?!' Either way I zoned out again.

Then apparently I have been featured in 1 of the plays and this other girl I didn't know came up towards me to tell me that my act was interesting in the beginning and apparently in the end, but because the middle was so boring, she zoned out and missed my sad face in the end. I realized they showed a videotaped play of me. I had a conversation with my ex in between and it went fine, so I was happy we could be normal again and no drama showed it's face. But then I started to worry that maybe I gave him false hope that I was interested in him again and wanted to give it another shot. Then I kinda got scared because what if I wanted to give it another shot? Did I become that desperate?!

The people from the party were all gone and I was sitting at my laptop again, but surrounded in christmas decorations and a christmas tree in front of me. The man of the house offered me a pack of chips which was opened awkwardly so you'd have to eat it all in 1 go. I didn't mind to do that so I took it, he laughed and mentioned he was counting on me to eat it all.

And I woke up.

<3

New desk chair! (Sep 27, 2013)

When you have a lot of writing to do, you're sitting for the biggest part of the day. Therefore, the desk chair you're sitting in should at least be comfortable right?! Well I've been sitting in a crappy broken desk chair for over half a year now. Why? Because I am broke and good desk chairs cost a lot of money, plus I don't want to invest the money I don't have in a chair I might have to sell again if I have to move to another country some time soon. The future job for me is still unknown and as I'm willing to move to the corners of the earth there is no way in knowing where I might end up in the time ahead. But anyway that's a different story.

I have been sitting on this broken chair for way too long, and I have to admit, I have had 2 versions of this desk chair and they all start off okay but then become very uncomfortable pretty quickly after purchased. Anyway, here are some pictures of what I have been sitting on. I've already placed it on my balcony, so my apologies for the dirty floor.

So as you can see, the seat was broken which somehow either made my leg fall asleep, or made my back ache. It's just uncomfortable. But the good news is that I found a cheap desk chair which I bought and put together, and here it is:

Okay it's smaller, but it actually is pretty comfortable. Or maybe I find anything comfortable after having to sit in a broken chair for so long... Either way I am very happy and it was only E35,- from the store Kwantum which is very cheap, I've checked many websites and usually the cheapest one was around E60,-. Sad thing is because I don't own a car or know anyone who does in my neighbourhood (the cons of living in a city where you can get anywhere with public transport or a bike I guess) I had to order it and that costs an additional E15,-. Still E50,- is reasonably cheap. And I'm happy I get to sit comfortably at my desk again :D

<3

Placebo - Loud Like Love (Sep 26, 2013)

Placebo is one of my favorite bands when I was in high school and have been ever since, so you can imagine my enthusiasm when I finally got to listen to their new album: Loud Like Love. This album revolves around the theme 'love' in all it's senses, whether it's heartbreak, romance, or general happiness.
The song 'Exit Wounds' deals with heartbreak and is one of my favorites because it somehow has a raw feeling to it, even though the entire album is very polished. Along with the heartbreak theme 'Bosco' feels more like their earlier type of work and it's portraying the unhealthy relationship where the love you have for one another is true and deep but also very poisonous and drains you both from your energy bringing the worst out of you.

'Too Many Friends' I love because it states the world we're currently living in. People nowadays tend to be far closer to others over social apps such as Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp etc. Even though the latter does need a phone number so at least you've met the person before (usually). The song has some humorous lyrics in it as well which have a sarcastic vibe to them due to Brian's voice which makes everything sound serious with a sad undertone.

'Rob the Bank' is about unconditional love, and has some humorous lyrics in it as well such as 'rob the bank, then pick your nose' which had me going wtf the first time I heard it. The overall message is very clear though.

'Loud Like Love' was their second single and is the happiest song on the entire album. I'm not very used to Placebo's work being this happy, so it took some getting used to on my side especially since Brian Molko's voice makes everything sound sad and serious. This song along with 'Scene Of the Crime' will probably be good concert songs.

'Hold On to Me' is a great melodious dark work that could be inspired from bands like 'the Cure', however the last part of the song where Brian gives a 'speech' about serving some higher purpose and our birthrights was not necessary for me, I would've cut out that part.

'A Million Little Pieces' fits in to their earlier work from albums such as 'Sleeping With Ghosts' or 'Meds'. It has great melody to it which is uplifting at times and forceful at others which Placebo has had a lot in past songs. Overall this song has a more depressing tone underneath which does fit in the heartbreak category, but it doesn't necessarily have to do with a romantic parting, I feel this fits to a friendship falling apart.

'Purify' reminded me in the beginning of the guitar riff in the start of their song 'Ashtray Heart', which when comparing the songs to one another it isn't as similar, however the similarity is there. It's a very strong song with strong and subtle pieces of musicality in it. The overall song feels like the beginning of a relationship where everything is yet to be cleared up, or purified if you will. Following 'Purified' is 'Begin the End', which feels like the end of a relationship the way 'Purified' feels like a start. 'Begin the End' brings the melody and the overall feel of the lyrics very well together. You really get the sense of a couple who have loved each other deeply but know it wouldn't work out. The song fits in perfectly with the heartbreak category of this album.

Overall I love the album and the more I listen to it the more I appreciate the work that went in. However, I have to admit I was expecting more intensity from them, especially after waiting 4 years for their new work. But either way I'm happy with this and very excited to be seeing them live in December!





<3

Nailpolish Catrice 07 Genius in a Bottle (Sep 25, 2013)

Recently I've bought a couple of nail polishes in the Kruidvat (a drugstore in the Netherlands) because there was a nail polish sale where it was buy 2 polishes for the price of 1. People who know me know that nail polish doesn't last long on my nails because I tend to scratch off the nail polish as soon as there's a chip in it. I just find it so satisfying when I can get the polish off in 1 go, which is usually the case... It's one of my weird things. Trying to quit it, I'm trying... I'm trying different types of polishes to see which ones last longer on my nails.

So I came across the 07 'Genius in a Bottle' by Catrice and I don't have any polishes from that brand. Plus the colour is lovely, gold with a green effect in it. Sorry for the poor picture quality, I hope I'll have a better camera in a couple of months.

I needed 2 layers of the polish and that was enough coverage for me. I didn't use any basecoat or topcoat. And the polish actually lasted 4 days before the first chips started to show. Usually the first chips already appear the first day for me, so this really is great! The colour on the nails is a bit more goldish than how it looks in the bottle, but you see the hint of green in it.

I forgot the exact price, but it is around E3,- per bottle. I really love the quality and colour of this polish!! 

And I really need a good camera! Hopefully in a couple of months :)

<3

Comedy dance university in Boston?! (Sep 21, 2013)

Yes I had another dream and I wished I actually typed it as soon as I woke up. Either way it was one of those dreams where the locations change and filled with randomness.

The university started and I was amongst many other students I didn't know waiting for the introduction ceremony whereby the professors introduced themselves with a comedic sketch or some funny anecdotes. It was a very fancy ceremony, everyone was dressed in gowns and tuxedos. It felt like the oscars from back in the day where everyone was dressed very classy. Anyway, 1 female teacher started talking and she had a list with her. She said that some people here would have to prove that they are indeed smart. She had a list. So she called 5 people including me, with a nasty comment after my name saying 'ooooh, someone was at Harvard so this person has to be smart! Let's test this out!'. I froze of course.

Then we were backstage getting ready to perform a freestyle dance show that was planned last minute to fill in half time of the ceremony. It was also an audition. It felt like one of those auditions from the show 'so you think you can dance'. Well I was nervous but more in my element. We were up.

Next I watched myself dance on a tv screen right after my group was done, but I didn't recognize myself. I knew I was wearing gold glitter pants with a black and gold glitter sweater on top (it looked awesome!) but the person dancing in those clothes did not look anything like me... That person was obese to say the least but somehow very light on her feet... It did not make sense...

Then I was in my old apartment in Boston, only to find out it was my sister's place. So I helped out with preparing lunch for my nephews and playing some games with them, but realizing that I will have a lot of explaining to do to my parents, and it was very awkward with my sister since we haven't spoken to each other in over 5 years. Somehow my nephews never aged or changed during that time.

I realized I had to get ready for a lecture from the same woman. I had to prepare my own stand up show, only I was not funny... So I made a speech about how human rights should be accomplished through dance. Performed that speech and somehow people found that hilarious and I aced it. I was very confused and irritated. Then another teacher (old man) came up to me and spoke to me that whatever I would do in that class I would fail because that teacher did not like students that may achieve something.

And I woke up...

<3

Getting married (Sep 20, 2013)

Hola!

I made a promise to myself to write down the dreams I've had for future entertainment, so here's the first one.

I was engaged with my ex whom I haven't really spoken to in 2 years apart from when we bumped into each other a year ago whereby he asked me if I wanted to marry him. Yeah we were broken up and it didn't work out, but we should get married anyway. Those were his words. I just shrugged and said yes. 

Half a year passed by without contact and we were supposed to get married in 2 weeks. So I called him casually and he did all the talking again saying we'll be fine, the marriage is absolutely still on. So I went wedding dress shopping alone and got a cheap one and proceeded with getting it all done. 

Two days before the wedding the guests already arrived and I was running up and down getting the tables ready, making sure the decorations are in order. The pillows haven't arrived yet (wtf?!) which was stressing me out because I needed those pillows. None of my friends were there, but I figured that they'd be there the day of wedding itself. There were already about 300 people there I didn't know, but they all seemed to be from the same hispanic family and they were always staring at me... Then I saw my to be husband and I was now really in doubt whether I wanted the wedding to happen or not. I didn't want to be twenty something and already divorced, but what if this was my only chance of getting married?! I needed that experience! He had his hair done and it kinda looked from the back like he was wearing a wig, but yet it was better than his usual hairdo so I was fine, I just hoped he'll have this the entire marriage because I could not handle to be with someone with his usual hairdo. Questions raised in my head such as do people really get married for love or for the price discounts in life? I wanted the discount... But I also wanted a happy marriage filled with love. That last one I wasn't going to get with him. He walked passed me at first, then turned around and said the wedding is on. And they were having a cheese fondue at his parents place the next day, so I should join. This freaked me out because for one thing I don't like cheese, and the second I don't get along with his mom at all and always feel outside of my comfort zone over there. Plus I still had so much to do for Sunday, the actual day of the wedding. So I said I had a shitload to do still, can't he see that?! Yes I was being bitchy, but I also figured why the hell not? I was a bride to a horrible person who never helped me, so I may play the bride-zilla card. He left then and I saw one of my friends arriving. Apparently it's Sunday already and the pillows are still not here. Guess I'll have to do without the pillows (still wtf?!). I started talking to her about my doubts but she wasn't hearing it. All I got was compliments on the venue and how pretty it all looked. I still had to get changed because I was wearing a cocktail dress. I wanted to look pretty while decorating the place (yeah, this really is sooooo me...). So I headed to the room prepared for me to get ready. I put on my wedding dress and hated it. I looked fat in it and it was uncomfortable and itchy and very tacky. Why was I going through with this? I didn't even know this person anymore... Though I didn't think he would have a changed at all in 2 years... He never really did. And where are my parents? Then I realized I forgot to tell them about it because in a place in my head I still thought this was a big joke. Oh shit...

Then I woke up. And the weird thing is when I woke up I actually smelled him. Freaky, but thankfully that didn't last long. 

<3 

Apparently wedding pillows are a thing though ;-)

Friend"ships" (Sep 19, 2013)

I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately since there is quite some drama involved there. And I prefer it all being smooth and drama free. I'm boring that way. So I've come up with a sort of metaphor to put it all in perspective, if you will.

As you can probably guess from the title above, I'm going to place friends in various ships. It is called a friendship and so I'm taking the word 'ship' separately. I've categorized the type of ships in 3 groups.

• Your good friends will sail with you in the same ship. You are a team and can trust and rely on each other for the optimal survival. You all have various roles, and these could be switched in the team for different situations. This team is strong and usually stays so for a long time. This team does not get renewed quickly; it takes a special kind of person to join, and a very bad situation for one of them to either walk the plank or transfer to the ships sailing next to you, which is a nice bridge on the next type of friendship.
• Because there are several oceans and a lot of water overall on this planet, there are many different ships sailing the oceans. The ships that sail close to you are your friends with whom you hang casually. You talk from time to time and discuss the weather and the tides. You depend on them to warn you from dangers afar, maybe an iceberg in the distance which they passed before you. These ships change regularly and even as you have a special bond, everybody here is replaceable in a certain way, although you'd prefer it all to stay the way it is. Easy breezy.
• Then you have pirate ships. These follow you around from time to time, but could disappear for some time as well. You can never depend on these pirates and you acknowledge this. Pirates are of the deceiving kind; they tend to have submarines which they use to steal the rum from underneath your ship. You've worked hard on to get your rum to a specific quality, or you're still working on it. After the robbery, they disappear because pirates know they would get into trouble if they sailed too nearby when you realize what just happened. Their ships usually are fancy and interesting, and these pirates do know how to have fun. However, you need your rum. You can't afford it being stolen every time. Yet it seems like these ships are connected to yours through some kind of rope. All you need to do is cut off that rope and you can sail faster and more freely, and discover new lands with the joy of that rum which will finally be more to your liking in quality and quantity. However something keeps you from cutting this rope. The humanity of thought about simplistic "what ifs?" is making your sword heavy. Maybe these pirates will change, maybe they will eventually return your rum? Truth is, they simply won't.

<3

PS: Why are pirates so cool?!

PPS: I just realized there are also 'mermaids'... Maybe you already have an idea what type of friends these are. 

Office supplies! (Sep 18, 2013)

Hola!!

So as promised my haul from yesterday at the Action and Bruna. The Action didn't have all the stuff I was looking for so on my way to work I knew I also passed a Bruna so got my last items there. Very excited!

So to start with the items from Action:

So there are 2 binders with a surf background. I love love LOVE everything related to surfing, the beach and especially large waves so I had to get these :D These were E0.95 and E0.79

Then a set of 5 pens that all have blue ink that were E0.99. I only had 1 blue inked pen and I don't like writing with black ink. Somehow it makes everything I write look messy... I'm weird I know.

And 2 notebooks. 1 is supposed to close magnetically, but as you can see in the picture... It's not working. Oh well that's what happens when you shop at the Action. Cheap stuff that doesn't always work but at least it's cheap and I can still write in it what it's actually for. Plus I just loved the print :D It was E0.79. The other notebook I loved because of the print of the Eiffel Tower and everything Paris. I will always love France and it will always have a homey feel to me. This one was the most expensive at a staggering *drumroll* E1.39!

Then at the Bruna:

I FINALLY have an agenda. It wasn't cheap (15.50 euro's...) But the only one that had already started so I didn't have to wait until January, and the only one that was small and continued for 18 months. Also it has the entire week on the 1 page and the next page has notes, so you can specify the appointment or whatever thats happening. Then I got my favorite style of pens! I got them in case the set I bought at the Action wouldn't write comfortably, but as it turns out they do write okay. But no pen comes close to these!  It was E6.59 for a package of 14.

Very happy with all this and I have to admit I have already used most of the products.  Now off to being productive!

<3

Steph

Graduating, career and goals (Sep 17, 2013)

Hola,

I've decided to start a blog so I can write about everything that keeps me busy, things that I love, things I don't love as much but trying to put a positive spin on it all since I think that is what everyone should do if you want to move on and enjoy the life you're living. So here goes... 

I'm trying to focus my time on graduating. Yes I've been a student way too long and to be honest I find it uncomfortable to talk about how long I've been studying. It's been 8 years... Yes I've spent 1 of those in Harvard Medical School so I guess I am doing alright. Right?! That has been a comfort of mine, but what I do want the most right now is to start a PhD somewhere in a cool lab and continue my career in the science world. I do see a crossroad coming up because I have applied for a position in a company. The thing is they would prefer me not to have ambitious in pursuing my doctoral degree by means of doing a PhD. So on the 1 hand I could do what I love but struggle through life (or marry a rich man and hopefully be happy that way) or do something I do like and have don't have to struggle moneywise... I still have to wait on a phone call for what it might be... So playing the waiting game with that for now and trying to focus on writing a review on retrotransposons in exosomes. My deadline for the first version is end of this month. Fingers crossed that I will make that happen with my lack of concentration lately.

The lack of concentration is actually due to social media. How ironic that I'm complaining about social media while writing a blog. However I do this for me and to set my thoughts at peace and I don't know, share some stuff on here that I like, even if no one is interested, in a couple of years I'll probably have some nice memories about this all. A sort of virtual diary without getting too much into my personal life if you will. But anyway I'm sidetracking now. I have to learn how to quit with social media, how to say no to the people around me without feeling guilty about it. Have more me time so I can move forward with my life instead of helping everyone with theirs and ending up in quicksand. So what I have promised myself is to leave early for my at the side job (helping out in a store called Marks & Spencer) and get some stationery products at the Action and plan my life out better. I do need an agenda because I hardly ever look at the one in my phone resulting in me forgetting appointments and remembering those at the last moment... This is not a good thing when I have to concentrate on writing a review since this always happens when I have that planned out for the evening. 

But anyway I don't want to make super long posts so I always have something to write about the next time. Maybe I'll do a 'haul' blog for the stuff I got today! 

<3

Steph